Accepting What I am

(There will be a preview of my new novel, The House That Wasn’t There, at the end. If you’re just here for that, skip to the bottom.)

When we are young, we’re filled with dreams and ambitions of what we will achieve in our lives. Some of us want to climb Mt. Everest, while others want to become a famous actor. My dream since I was little was to be a published author. More specifically, I dreamed about seeing my book on the shelf of my local bookstore. Being a famous author wasn’t necessarily the dream, just being a traditionally published author would suffice.

I finished my first novel when I was twenty-five years old. It was rejected by the three literary agents I sent it to. Yes, you read that right. I sent it to a total of three literary agents. Thanks to the advancement of the internet, and the popularity of Googling information that we don’t know but want the answer to, I now know that three wasn’t enough. That’s alright, it wasn’t publishable by any stretch of the imagination.

Eventually, I learned that three wasn’t enough and sent my next manuscript to twenty-five agents. The following manuscript was sent to more than fifty. Reel Ghosts was sent to at least fifty, as well. All of those manuscripts had the same thing in common. They were rejected.

I was blindly repeating the same mistake over and over again, which I wrote about when discussing why I decided to self-publish. My focus on the dream had blinded me to reality and what the world was telling me. I wasn’t going to be a traditionally published author.

A wild backup plan became “the plan.” Back when X was Twitter, I posted about my backup plan being self-publishing my book. I was looking for insight, which I received. I also received plenty of comments regarding my usage of the term backup plan. Self-published authors weren’t happy that I used it in that manner. Years down the road, I stand by that terminology, at least for me. The fact is, if I could be a traditionally published author today, I would likely take it. Of course, it would come with a cost. My control would be limited. I would also still have to do some of the same marketing for the book that I do now. It wouldn’t be easier, just a different sort of journey.

Full disclosure. I didn’t send The House That Wasn’t There to a single literary agent, like I had planned. Seeing Reel Ghosts do little to nothing in the self-publishing world was and still is hard. Plus, The House is a better novel. I want good things for it. Yet, I have come accept what I am, a self-published author.

It’s a humbling experience for a man who has read many books and thought “Are you kidding me? My book is better than this! Why do they have an agent and a publishing deal?” If you choose to read The House That Wasn’t There, which deals with the 7 deadly sins, you’ll find out which two I committed.

Because of the experience of the last year and a half, I know what I am. I’m a good, but not great writer. There are worse, true, but there are a lot that are better. That’s fine with me; I’ll keep writing regardless. Hopefully, you’ll keep reading.

The Preview

Here’s the back of the book description:

There wasn’t supposed to be a house hidden in the woods across the street. There weren’t any visible signs of construction in the area. Being a residential construction worker, Conner knew a construction site when there was one. There wasn’t one.

It was as if the house appeared overnight.

It beckoned to him, calling out for him to enter, until he had no choice but to step inside.

It knew his sins and tormented him with them, making him relive every heartbreaking choice that shattered his life.

The worst part? There’s no way out.

Interesting, right?

Since you’re reading this blog post (thanks, by the way) how about a further look into the book?

This isn’t the first time that Conner has encountered the house, which you’ll learn more about when you read the book. Ten years ago, he was part of an investigation into the disappearance of a woman. Her husband said that in the week leading up to her disappearance, she claimed to see a house across the street in the empty lot. The problem? There wasn’t a house there.

The house is seven stories tall, with a different level where the wanderer experiences an occasion they committed that particular sin. While they are in the house, it feeds on their soul.

While in the house, Conner experiences the sins he committed while investigating the disappearances involving the house ten years ago. Sins that caused him to flee his life for a new one.

Here’s a link to the Amazon page where you can buy the book.

Thanks for reading.

If you enjoyed this post, please follow, like, and share. Remember to follow your dreams, even if they terrify you. “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

Stephen Roth

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